i sleep nude because if someone ever breaks into my house they gotta fight me while im naked and i dare you to try and swing on a nigga when his dick is out
You are grade A guarenteed to get yourself hurt with this mindset? You think I’m afraid to grab a dick and yank it, bruh? You think I won’t get my hands dirty on your dick in order to end you? You got the wrong one, man—and your ass better hope I don’t have a knife.
and another thing. simbas uncle just happened to have a scar and be named scar? bullshit
He chose to be called Scar after he got the scar… ._. please read up on The lion king before saying anything about it.
i’d rather die than read up on something before i make uneducated comments about it so either his name was always scar or you break into my house and snap my fucking neck it’s your call
it’s literally 2016 why did i just come across a buzzfeed video about snacks that “only 90s kids will recognize” like….. i watched the video and one of the snacks was literally a can of coke….. they poured a can of coke into a glass…
i call all my friends after 20 years of no contact and invite them to visit me at my house, which is a farm in the middle of nowhere. they approach the farm gates and i appear looking like this
..go on…….
i lead you into the barn where i live and offer you snacks and refreshments. it’s a bowl of minnows and 3 caprisun pouches
accept the capri sun, cautiously refuse the minnows
i tell you that it’s fine, leaves more for me, but you can tell im a little hurt. we watch cutthroat kitchen in silence, i seem to be attempting to drink my caprisun through my gas mask, but im failing miserably. you say nothing.
i say nothing
at one point i go into a shed and bring out more caprisun pouches and a single triscuit for you
you (has waffles for breakfast, goes to parties, been to ikea): do u listen to drake
me (eats the bark of the rare almond tree for its classy unique taste, spends friday nights studying gregorian chants, refers to my classmates as “brethren” out of respect): whom?
